Sr Helen speaks of her experience with End-of-Life care

At The Forrest Centre, we believe compassionate care is about being present – walking alongside people and their families through life’s most tender moments. Sr Helen Kelly, who has spent more than five decades in nursing and in palliative care, has done just that. From local hospices to mission hospitals in Africa, she’s seen how comfort, connection and kindness can bring peace at the end of life. These days, she brings her unique perspective to her role on The Forrest Centre Board. Here, she shares what compassionate end-of-life care truly looks like.

“I first started at Calvary Hospital in Kogarah, which has a hospice,” recalls Sr Helen Kelly. “At that stage I was a trained nurse, and we looked after the dying there because that was our spirit really. I’d done my nursing training with the Little Company of Mary back in the 60s, and when I entered the congregation in 1971, that’s where it all began for me.

“Our spirit of the Little Company of Mary is that of the little group of women who stood with Mary at the foot of the cross, to be for others as Mary was for her son on Calvary. It’s that same presence, I think, being with people, because it’s a very special time.”

Over the years, that call to simply be present has taken Sr Helen across the world tending to the sick and dying. “I spent some time also in Africa at a hospice called Mashamba Nzou, which means ‘to wash the elephant’. The elephants go down to wash at the beginning of the day, and that word offered a new dawn to those who are dying. For me, that really cemented things.”

During her 12 years working in Zimbabwe, she saw compassion expressed in many forms. “We had home-based care that went out to the poorer districts. The staff came up with the name ‘Dananai’, which means a gift of love, that’s what it was really about.”

Back in Australia, Sr Helen continued to see how faith and presence intertwine. “My faith has probably grown into that Mary on Calvary. I think we are there for one another. We are on this planet together. Spirituality is very different for people – it’s not necessarily churched, but it’s people who know the goodness of life.”

She has witnessed courage and tenderness in the hardest moments. “I remember a little girl in the children’s ward in Zimbabwe. It was her 10th birthday and we made her a cake. She asked to go to the public hospital because she didn’t want the younger ones to see her die. There was a lot of courage there.”

And closer to home: “There was a woman with melanoma bumps all over. You could hardly find a place to give an injection, but she had a bit more time just to be comfortable and make the most of her precious time. It’s maybe just being there for people who need you, wherever they are at in their journey.”

Compassion, she says, is never a solo act. “Pastoral care is very much part of it – listening, looking after the relatives so they’re comfortable. It’s the nurses, the consultants, the pastoral carers, the families, all there working together so the person can die peacefully.”

Even after decades beside the dying, Sr Helen sees her work as ultimately about living. “Life is not all about death and dying – it’s about life. I think that’s it just living life to the fullest. I've been very lucky with the people that I've come across and the people I've worked with.”

She draws strength from two favourite scriptures. “John 10:10 says, ‘I have come that you may have life, and have it to the full.’ And Joshua 1:9, ‘Remember I told you, be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid; I am with you wherever you go.’ Those words have stayed with me.”

After a lifetime of being with others at the end of theirs, Sr Helen’s message is simple. “Dying is part of living. It’s our time to let go and realise that we’ve lived our mission, made an imprint on the world around us. These are precious times. Sometimes words get in the way – it’s just about developing relationships and walking with others.”