Aged Care Decision Making - When do you start?
The “aged care talk”: a personal account
Following the death of his beloved wife, Noreen, Neville Conkey lived alone in his Cootamundra home for a couple of years but when he had a nasty fall at the age of 91, he knew it was time to enter residential care.
As his son Doug explains, the fall was a tipping point in his aged care journey.
“My father had a couple of falls at home. One was at the back of the house in the middle of July when it was very cold. He said later that it took him about an hour to push the Vital Call button on his chest and for the ambulance to come.
“They thought he’d had a heart attack and brought him over to Wagga for a while. Then he went back home to Cootamundra and said to me one day, ‘I just can’t live on my own anymore. I’m worried that I’ll have a fall in the house on my own. Can you find somewhere to go?’
“My brother, Greg, and I were living in Wagga and although he initially wanted to find a place in Cootamundra, we wanted to have him close so we could see him every day, which we pretty well did the whole time he was in residential care.”
At this time, Doug was treasurer on The Forrest Centre Board and was able to arrange respite care for Neville. After a few weeks, a permanent place was found for him at Mary Potter Nursing Home, where he lived for the last three years of his life.
He quickly adapted to his new surrounds, and while his health was good, it took him no time to become carpet bowls champion. Neville also played a mean game of bingo.
“Dad liked the place and was well looked after. He was born in 1924 and was a World War II veteran. He was an uncomplaining type of person and like many in that generation, he was very accepting of things.
“It was reassuring to find him a place in Wagga. We could pop up and see him. Sometimes I’d have lunch with him but often it was only a 10 or 15 minute visit, and he was happy with that. He was very happy with his own company.”
Tips for starting the process
For anyone else with a loved one approaching their senior years, Doug suggests starting the Aged Care conversation early.
“Get the whole family together, brothers and sisters, and you might say, ‘Mum and Dad, you are fit well now and you're living at home, but have you thought about the future and what's going to happen if one of you passes away or becomes incapacitated?’ and have the conversation at that point before they really need residential care.
“When Dad had the fall, he realised he needed care. He brought it up. We had spoken to both Mum and Dad about it a number of times over the years and I think that helped.”
Doug also suggests getting a head start on the practical side of things.
“Do some research. Have an ACAT Assessment done. Know where you can go and then look at the possibilities in your town or larger places like Wagga where you have a bit more choice. You can’t just leave it to the last minute.
“Have wills and enduring guardians and powers of attorney in place. Get some financial advice. All those sorts of things. You never know when your situation will change and you can no longer look after yourself, so it’s important to know what you want and prepare early.”
We thank Doug Conkey for sharing the story of his father, Neville, with us. If you need help navigating the Aged Care system but don’t know where to begin, Aged Care Solutions is here to help. Read more about the service here or call 02 6932 3009 for free information and advice.
